Ilona Mariska “Mary” Stillinger of Lethbridge, AB passed away peacefully at St. Michael’s Health Centre Palliative Care Unit, on Friday, May 19, 2023 after a period of declining heath at the age of 81.

The second of two daughters born to János Hlinka and Ilona (Tószegi) Hlinka, Mary made a dramatic, and premature, entrance into this world on June 15, 1941 on the hospital steps in the city of Kassa then part of Hungary, today Košice in Slovakia.

12 days later the city was bombed, and Hungary declared war on the Soviet Union.  By early July, Mary’s father, part of the Hungarian Calvary Brigade was deployed to the Soviet frontier.  He never returned.  Her mother, with infant and 4 year old daughters, fled the area, returning to her family home in the village of Hernádcéce in northeastern Hungary.

Mary grew up behind the Iron Curtain, shifting between city life with her single working mother and village life with her widowed grandmother.  In June 1956, Mary turned 15, graduated from “general school” and was looking forward to becoming a hairdresser.  In October the Hungarian Revolution began.  Suddenly, the whole country was in revolt, with Soviet tanks rolling in to suppress the rebellion in a bloody and violent crackdown.

Separated from her newly remarried mother during the chaos, Mary along with her sister, brother-in-law and infant nephew, made the perilous escape from Hungary with just the clothes on their backs.  The path to the Austrian border was treacherous, lined with watch towers and spotlights.  Just like in a movie, they hid in a ditch to avoid patrolling soldiers and guard dogs.  Crossing the border into Austria, they and thousands of other Hungarians were processed into refugee camps.  Miraculously reunited with her mother, the family stayed in refugee camps in Austria and England, before arriving in Canada in 1957.

Life in a new country was difficult at first.  Originally settling in the Taber area, the family of 4 adults and by then, 3 children under the age of 3, lived in a tiny two room house.

Mary learned to speak English, hoed sugar beets, met and married Steve Stillinger and had her first daughter by the time she was 20.  Mary and Steve put down roots in the Tilley area, buying a farm down the road from his parents and welcoming their second daughter.  Mary and Steve spent 12 years farming.

Mary was a fantastic cook and baker creating great meals every day, making pies, bread, cakes and cookies which were waiting when the kids home from school.  She kept an immaculate house and an enormous vegetable garden, canning and freezing the harvest to provide for the family during the winter.

Sadly Mary and Steve parted ways.  Mary moved to Nanaimo, BC in the early eighties to be near her sister.  She met her new partner, Joe Simon, and together they were very active in the Hungarian community.  The couple’s large group of ex-pat friends enjoyed Mary’s excellent Hungarian cuisine at the many parties they hosted.  Neighbours and visitors were always treated to her home-made baking.

She worked part time in Joe’s shoe repair shop until they both retired, cultivated a beautiful garden and was particularly proud of her roses and hostas.  The couple both loved animals, living with numerous cats and dogs over the years.  The best time of day was taking the dog out for a long walk.

Mary returned to Europe a few times, to visit her mother who had moved to the Netherlands, and to visit Hungary after the fall of the Iron Curtain.

Mary spent over 38 years in Nanaimo before returning to Alberta in 2019 to be reunited with her children and grandchildren, only to be met by another life changing event...Covid.

Despite being swept up in some of the world’s most tumultuous events, Mary liked the quiet life.

She could get caught up in reminiscing about her childhood and shared many memories of her mother, grandmother, and high jinks with her favourite cousin.  She enjoyed classic movies, cooking shows, and British programs, never missing Coronation Street.  Over the years, Mary collected a nice library of cookbooks, many in Hungarian, which she loved to pour over for inspiration.

Despite her failing health, and terminal diagnosis, she vowed to bake cookies for Christmas, which she did.  Mary continued cooking and baking up until the final month.

Mary is survived by her two daughters, Linda and Heidi;  two grandchildren, Jesse and Misha;  and one great-granddaughter, Hailey Rae.

A private family gathering was held at Martin Brothers Funeral Chapels, Lethbridge on Monday, May 22, 2023.
Cremation was entrusted to Martin Brothers.